He who teaches should speak only of what he has experienced.Dalai Lama

Asking for Help

Consider the fact that you are exploring my site. Are you here through recommendation? Are you tired of stumbling through life and relationships? Are you here because you have unanswered questions about reactive behaviours? Are you afraid of what you might find if you start taking a look within? Do you find yourself afraid to even call for help? Or are you here knowing of someone in your life who is struggling and unaware of how much they need help?

It’s not critical to know the details of why you are here. It’s more that these questions are to prompt connection and association rather than to interrogate or tick boxes. What matters is that you have already made a conscious decision to start investigating. A problem identified and shared is a problem half solved. That is what seeking help is all about and that is where I believe I can be of service.

I am not a mystical guru with all the answers to all your problems. I am a human being who has been through some dark times of his own. After working on myself for 14 years and moving beyond my countless emotional blocks, I am now in the fortunate position of being able to empathise deeply with others who are faced with the sort of confusion that took me 36 years to finally address. You do not have to wait another minute to start reconciling your past and addressing the questions you have in your present to move toward building a healthier, happier self.

Talking is one thing: but talking to someone who has experienced pain born of similar circumstance is quite another. What appears real when we are in turmoil is often a gross exaggeration of one’s true reality. We cannot see the wood from the trees and become lost in our own version of the truth, a truth plagued by fear of worst-case scenarios and condemnation from those we most want to love us. In my experience and much to my surprise, the more I shared my painful truth with good friends and loved ones, the more they accepted and loved me. This is the exact opposite of what people typically believe. Fear prevents us facing and sharing our past; we fear that exposing our part in difficult events will expose us to judgement and ridicule. We fear abandonment and even reprisal by those we love. And in this dark place, the person ultimately most lost to us is ‘ourself’!

Finding your way back from the brink of despair, finding your way back to a safer path, finding your voice and a sense of dignity and self-acceptance are all a part of what comes from developing a keen awareness of and compassion for the deeply held experiences of your past. A huge part of this is learning to forgiving ‘yourself’ as well as others and learning to do things differently. These are things with which I can provide much guidance.

I am not a psychologist: I am not a psychiatrist: I am a trained coach. I see myself as an island of calm amid a more traditional and sometimes daunting sea of psychoanalysts. You might already have turned to a psychiatrist or psychologist to arrest some extreme problem or frightening scenario. Coaching fits neatly alongside such measures. There are 168 hours in a week: you may spend one of those hours with a therapist. I am here to help you through the other 167!

I offer to help you explore the insanity of expressing the same damaging behaviours over and over again whilst unwittingly expecting a different outcome. I offer a door back to reality and a safe haven within which to let go of the pain of the past and prepare for a healthier future. I offer guidance at your own gentle pace without the fear sometimes associated with a more medicinal route. I promise to listen to you and never to judge you. And I promise to help you structure your future from an open heart, a connected soul and a place of inner peace.